I like writing. It’s my way of hearing my thoughts. I guess that’s why I think I write most clearly when I feel quiet.
This quietness sometimes comes during weekend mornings after waking up from a good night’s sleep, after having called my family, when there is no hurry to go anywhere or do anything. At other times, I feel it when I have had a really busy evening, the kind where you go out with friends, drink a little too much, get back late at night and truly appreciate having a home and a cosy bed. Somehow, the fog created by food and alcohol, actually makes you clear out every distraction and lets you pay attention to what you are truly feeling at that point. It’s very difficult to do that when you are hungry or sober.
Then there is a third kind. It comes after a hard, tiring day, full of talking to strangers, and almost no talking to friends, and a little bit of emotional roller-coaster. You take a long, solitary walk in cold weather, get home, cook, eat, clean the kitchen, take a shower and somehow they clear your head. Then you lie in bed, tucked under the comforter and read. Sometimes this is more relaxing than actual sleep. When you are sleeping, you are asleep. You are not consciously letting go of things. In fact, you only enjoy having slept after you wake up. But there is something about staring at the daisies on your windowsill, while you are tired and your hair and skin smell damp, fresh and clean, that makes you truly peaceful and quiet. You don’t want to hear songs or check your email or look at Facebook or chat with anyone. You feel, I guess, mellow.
These are my three favorite quiet moments. And when they happen, something makes me write. It almost feels like it can’t be helped. It’s the joy of quiet.
(And while we are at it, I am amazed at how blogging makes you lose so much self-inhibition..it’s almost therapeutic!)